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The Inconcievable Avocado

Posted by ChroniclesCapersCanards
I do not understand avocados. I enjoy eating them but....what are they? I mean, most everyone has a basic understanding of food. Cheese is simple. Chocolate is great. Apples are good. But avocados. Is it a fruit? Is it a vegetable? Why does it taste like egg? Who the hell designed and why aren't we shunning them? To begin, we have the avocado itself, which is a usually a pear shaped thing with a thick dull green skin. The skin is very tough like an orange but not really as pliant. We are also not sure if it is a fruit or a vegetable. Yet. Avocados are also pretty intimidating to cut. do you slice it up (no) or cut it down the middle (not bad) or peel it with a peeler (oh god, no. just get out of the kitchen now)? No, you have to slice this little androgynous thing down the middle, curving around this really awkward center. You don't try and cut to the center open because you will lose your fingers in the process. Just don't even try it. Now you have to twist the the avocado apart, and you have two nice halves of an avocado. Yay!and whats this a seed?! Yes, an avocado has a seed therefore it is a fruit even though it does not taste like a fruit and is made up of mostly fat. Its like the black sheep of the fruit family. So you have two halves of avocado, one half with a little bowling of a nut stuck smack dab in the middle. I swear to god, the avocado nut is the most annoying thing in the world. Half of you just wants it out of the flesh but, you also don't want to ruin the smoothness either. I kind of....sort of...hit the nut with a knife and it pulls right out. So you have this nut now. Just throw it out. Its nut. What are you going to do with a nut? Now here's the fun part. You get to scoop out the soft avocado stuff. I don't know why but I just get such a kick from scooping out the avocado meat. You can also remove the skin easily now by simply ripping it away; since you cut the avocado in half, you don't have to worry about bruising the meat. In this way the avocado retains its curve. Yay, curves! If you wanna make a sandwich, you can slice it up like this. Very good with turkey. And tomatoes. And salads. And chicken breast. Avocados also have this weird flavor. Even though they are fruit, they are not water based and are mostly fat. Because of this they do not taste refreshing in the classical sense of the world. No, instead, the avocado has a creamy egg flavor. It is indulgent yet cool like a cucumber. It goes good with spicy food and strong flavors because its flavor is just so mellow. Aesthetically, it blends really well with the brighter redder colors spicy food tends to have. Cayenne, tomato, onion are forever the avocados' best friend in the kitchen. Cilnatro is its adopted twin. Lime juice is its sassy gay friend. Together they make guacamole which is just amazing. And for the record, everything I learned from avocados I got from this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNJdJIwCF_Y you should really watch it. -Gabriela P.

2 Comments


Genius blog via genuinely clever human.
Thanks.
Mrs H


Genius blog via genuinely clever human.
Thanks.
Mrs H

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